thirteen stuff you need to recognise before relationship a Southern lady

1. there is no such factor as a "brief journey" anywhere due to the fact even Dallas is a small metropolis.
She'll see her fourth-grade instructor's nephew on the grocery keep and spend a full half-hour being attentive to him describe his current colonoscopy.

2. She could alternatively die than forget to RSVP. Her reproduction of Emily submit is greater nicely-worn than a preacher's bible. She's a cotillion graduate. She by no means suggests as much as a party empty-handed and sends a thank-you word if you a lot as gave her a hankie.

3. but she will drink you under the table. between all of the gala's, weddings, tailgates, deb balls, and oyster roasts, she's had a whole lot of exercise.

four. Her tailgate prep is greater complicated than Eisenhower's maneuvering at Normandy. There are six styles of punch, eleven chips and dips, and extra sausage balls than you may shake a stick at. And let's not even get started out on her outfit — she's were given to get a blowout, nail clipping, and wax before she can even start to remember that.

five. She's very non secular. She's by no means misses a provider at the United Church of SEC soccer, and is a fervent believer in her lord and savior, endure Bryant.

6. Fried is a food group. She also is aware of which out-of-the-way shacks have the fine barbeque.

7. just due to the fact she talks slow does not approach she's silly. certain, she's were given a captivating drawl, but she's additionally were given a master's in biochemical engineering, sugar, and you'd be a idiot to underestimate her.

8. she will monogram the ever-residing crap out of the entirety you very own. there's pretty much nothing that can't be progressed with massive, frilly initials.

nine. each weekend from March to October is spoken for. She's in nine weddings this yr, serving punch at four, and invited to eleven greater. seems like you will be getting your cash from your dancing shoes.

10. You never need to deliver a coozie again. She's got a spare for you in her purse! She's were given approximately a thousand of them, maximum of which had been favors from the aforementioned weddings.

eleven. And speaking of weddings, you had better don't forget wherein you buried the bourbon. when you have the best fortune to marry a Southern lady, know your wedding can and could technique steel Magnolia-stage ridiculousness. Cake pulls, 20+ bridesmaids, punch-serving responsibilities, burying a bottle of Maker's Mark ... the superstitions and traditions never stop.

12. it's in no way now not going to be Coke. it's not a smooth drink or a pop or, God help you, a Pepsi. and she's fixin' to get another one, y'all.

13. "Is my hair huge enough?" is a legitimate query. unlike "Does my butt appearance massive?" the rights answers are "yes" or "could be larger."